I walk alone
by viktriap
Summary: This is just a one-shot from Season 3. Cole is pondering about his task and about his life, just a short glimpse in a half-demons mind.


Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own anything.

Author's note: First I apologize to everybody who reads my Profiler stories. I know what I said the last time - almost two month ago! But my life became somehow hectic and - which is much worse - I somehow lost my inspiration.

This one-shot is a way to find back to the characters, it seems to work as I wrote a lot in the last days. Anyway, I really apologize! Please, be so kind to read this instead and review if you like it (it would probably help a lot to inspire me even more:) )

I walk alone

Cole Turner, assistant district attorney, well known upper-level-demon and assasin of the Source of All Evil, was sitting in his office and was fuming. He should be concentrating on his mission but he couldn't really. All his notes were spread across the desk but he was staring out the window. A plan... he needed a plan to get rid of the witches... Prue, the eldest was suspecting him... somehow he has to make her trust him or maybe just lenk her thoughts from him.Then there was Piper...he took out the photo that was made of the middle-sister – he won't have any problems with her. Yes, she has power but she follows Prue... so if Prue is taken out of the picture it will be okay.

He decided at their first meeting that Phoebe would be the key. Phoebe... Oh, hell! He closed his eyes and could see her face... her beautiful face... _Why do I have this stupid feelings!_ He almost cried out loud. He was a demon, a killer, he has lived one-hundred years in the Underworld, he has killed so many he couldn't even count! Demons, mortals, witches and other magical beings. What was this strange dizziness he felt, this almost cramp-like feeling in his guts that he felt every time when he thougt about killing the Charmed Ones?

He knew that he was closer to the aim than any other demon the Triad has sent so far. But this knowledge didn't really help him to figure out the proper steps. He has tried many things so far but somehow never managed to finish them off. He could have... why didn't he just kill Melinda Warren before she was even born? Yes, of course it would be quite radical. He told himself that he couldn't change the whole history with one act but this wasn't the real cause. Oh, no! He could lie to everybody, but himself he couldn't or at least not all the time... That idiot with his prophesizing apples and Phoebe... they totally confused his mind.

_It was his pathetic human side that made him so confused! These stupid good-for-nothing feelings came from his human heart!_

He jumped up and started to pace around in the office. This was his weakness, the heritage of his mortal father. This caused all his problems and he hated it! _Yes, he hated it..._

But in a way his weakness was his strength as well. He was good as an assassin because he was thinking differently. He could kill the most powerful demons – the enemies of the Source – because they couldn't contemplate his coming steps. He could melt in with humans, he could get a cover-job, he could read their mind... or at least he could do it better than other demons. His upbringing made him very different from humans as well, of course... but still he could pretend perfectly that he belonged here, into their world.

In reality though he was alone. More alone than anybody else. He wasn't totally a demon and he wasn't totally human. He was somewhere between and this prevented him from fitting in anywhere. He was a half-breed, one of the few still living half-breeds. Demons rarely had _this kind of contact_ with humans. His mother did. Not on his own will, but she did. Anyway, most half-bloods died: either after their birth (killed by their demon-parent) or later during the trainings or just so... they were weaker than average demons, so they were easy targets.

Cole however was different. Her mother was a prestigious demon and his son had enough power to survive. It wasn't easy though as he wasn't pushed to the limits just phisically but also emotionally. Emotions... demons didn't have those: this was something he should have learned but he never succeeded in overpowering them completely. However he was a master in pretending not having them.

And there was an other thing: he often had strange feelings but usually he couldn't identify them. He was never taught about human emotions – quite the opposite, as he was always told that thosewere useless and made humans and himinferior beings! – and he couldn't practically ask anybody about them. What would it be like? _Hey, could you tell me, what this choking feeling is and this coldness in my chest that I feel when I'm pushing my knife in your heart? _Would have been rather an interesting conversation...

_Shit! I should stop thinking like this! What is with me? I have a task to complete._..

Yes, he had a task! And this brought back his thoughts to Phoebe Halliwell. Every time he was with her he forgot his task. It was hard to concentrate on anything else than her eyes, her face, her mouth and voice and... He grabbed one of the thick books on law and threw it against the wall with all his might.

"Why the hell have I thoughts like these!" he mused loudly and then tensed.

He felt as if eyes were following his every movement.He turned and saw the Shadow on the opposite wall.

"What do you want?" he growled at his 'companion'. "Tell your masters that I have a new plan and I'm working on it!"

The Shadow didn't move and Cole felt as if that thing would mock him.

"Go away! Let me alone!" he never shouted at the being but now he couldn't stop himself. He was troubled and puzzled from his own thougths and emotions and was fed up with being watched all the time, and with the Triad and with the whole Underworld and with his whole mission and to tell the truth with his whole fucked up life!

The Shadow must have felt his dangerous mood because it vanished without much ado and left his owner alone.

He made a few more turns in his pacing-race around the office and then collapsed in his chair, comletely exhausted. Since he started this mission he's felt drained. Or – if he wanted to be honest to himself – he's felt drained in the last twenty years or so. It seemed as if he hadn't stopped for a minute in these years. He finished one task and he got another. He was summoned to the Source more often than any other asassin as if the Ruler didn't want to give him any time to think about... what? _What shouldn't he have been thinking about?_

Maybe these what he was thinking about at the moment!

About how good it was when somebody looked at him with warm eyes, like Phoebe. And when she touched him – not as if anything _like that_ has happened between them, no, not yet! – but every time he was near that woman, he felt... He didn't even know how he felt: every cell in his body vibrated, he was excited and at peace at the same moment and he felt something warm inside of his heart.

He's had many women in his long life – not as many as the female demons would have wanted, but quite a lot – but none of them had an effect like this one on him. If he thought about it, they had no effect at all – they were a way to diminish the desire of his body, nothing more. But Phoebe...

"Phoebe Halliwell is one of the witches you have to kill!" He reminded himself loudly. "And the sooner you do it the better it is..." he added.

But deep in his mind and deep in his soul he had the doubt whether he would ever be capable of killing that woman...


End file.
